


Pale Knuckles

by WellDoneBeca



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel is a Sweetheart, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, implied depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 12:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14378250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WellDoneBeca/pseuds/WellDoneBeca
Summary: All he could sense was pain, fear, despair, and loneliness. It was like you were surrounded by those feelings, drowning in sadness. He’d never felt something so negative and it took him by surprise. How long had you been feeling that way?





	Pale Knuckles

Castiel moved his eyes from hands to your face and then back. You were holding the book so hard your knuckles were pale, and a wrinkle that didn’t belong was decorating your browns. You were blinking more than usual too, but it seemed as your eyes were still watery through the effort.

Something was wrong.

“Y/N?” he called, making you raise your eyes. “Is everything alright?”

You froze for an instant and he could see the surprise in your expression, but the genuine reaction quickly gave place to something less honest.

“Of course, Cas,” you gave him a fake smile. “Why wouldn’t it?”

Your eyes flew back to the page and he finally gave into his instincts of entering your mind.

All he could sense was the pain, for starts. Then, fear and despair, and loneliness. It was like you were surrounded by those feelings, drowning in sadness but not even reacting to them, at least not externally.

He’d never felt something so negative and it took him by surprise. How long had you been feeling that way?

“I’m going to my room,” you announced and Sam and Dean – which were sat around, completely oblivious – only made short sounds in acknowledgement.

Castiel was still too surprised to react. That hopelessness… It couldn’t be good. How could you still be on your feet?

From where he was watching, your walk was almost robotic Every step was a fight and you seemed to have difficulty breathing.

He didn’t think twice. In a second he was on your side, pulling your arm and wrapping his arms around you, and in another, you were falling into his grasp. You started sobbing, and God knows how long you’ve been holding that inside you.

Castiel didn’t know why that was happening and why you’d held that pain up to this point, or even why it was  _so bad_. And while those were things he wanted to know, what you needed right now was none of that.

With your fingers holding his coat tightly, you didn’t even feel when he moved the two of you to a more private place and just sat on the floor with him around you, shaking and crying so hard he thought you would break.

“It’s okay,” he assured you. “ _It’s okay_.”


End file.
